"Family Matters"
By Paul Kendall

Soured On Church

As odd as it seems, many Christians today do not attend church. The parents observe the teachings of Christ and even reinforce them in their children but when Sunday rolls around, they can be found anywhere but in church. Seems kind of strange doesn’t it? Kind of like an avid fisherman never going out on the river. I suppose if you knew the fisherman had suffered a terrible boating accident you might understand why he stays away from something he loves. 

The same is true for many un-churched Christians today; somewhere along they way they were hurt and some, even devastated, by something or someone in the church. “That pastor hurt me…” “All they talk about is money…” “I can’t stand the hypocrisy…” “They talk about love – but I went there for three months and no one so much as shook my hand!” These are just a few of the reasons I’ve heard why people no longer attend church. 

According to a Gallup Poll, 44% of Christians surveyed identified themselves as being un-churched. Christian researcher, George Barna, released findings that over ten million born again Christians do not attend an organized church. TEN MILLION! Oh, how the enemy of God must love to see so many of His children leaving His house.

I know the feeling of church hurts all to well. Some of my life’s deepest wounds were inflicted IN CHURCH! Once, I left a staff position in a church and a dear member there insisted on paying for our moving truck.  Months after our move, I learned that I had been accused of swindling the member out of the money – by none other than my former pastor! I thought; “that is the farthest thing from the truth!” I became depressed and in no time at all I was soured on church. 

Just when I was about to stereotype all pastors as being “rotten” it dawned on me; “I’ve gotten food poisoning before but I didn’t stop going to restraints. I know there are bad cops out there – but if I was being robbed I would still love to see one come pulling up.” Jesus knew what it felt like to be hurt by the church. But in Mark 11:25, He says “… if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

It’s not easy to forgive a deep hurt. Neither is it easy for God to forgive you. But, if you can forgive and give someone another chance - God can forgive you too. So, give the church another chance. Keep looking until you find one that your whole family enjoys. Stay positive and know that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch. 

It’s a good thing I didn’t condemn every pastor as being rotten. If I had, I’d have a very difficult time with my vocation today.

That's Family Matters... I'm Paul Kendall.

Paul Kendall is the host of the popular syndicated radio program "Family Matters" and author of a new book by the same name. Radio programs, family resources and much more are available at www.KendallFamilyNetwork.com.